Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Why It's Important To Make Time 2 Play


As a parent myself, I would hate my two boys to become part of what experts are calling a 'Robot Generation', a term used to describe those children who might suffer from lasting health and well-being issues as they get older, due to not playing enough. Based on new research which has recently been undertaken, the damage to a child who is not allowed the time to play could result in a lack of such crucial skills.

A study carried out by the British Toy and Hobby Association (BTHA)



and Play England



has revealed the long-term effects that a lack of playtime can have on children and the findings are shocking! They include poor social skills, obesity, a problem in making friends, inadequate social skills and not being able to cope very well with pressures they face in life.

These expert predictions were backed by parental research that demonstrated how 74% of the 2,000 who were surveyed, agreed that a lack of play could seriously effect a child's future. Indeed of those 2,000 parents questioned:

* 64% believe that a lack of play can have a negative effect on their children’s communication skills,
*57% believe a lack of play can have a negative effect on their ability to make friends,
*56% believe a lack of play can have a negative effect on their children’s confidence
*51% believe a lack of play can have a negative effect on their imagination and repress it.

These parents also worry about the effects once their children approach adolescence. Indeed:

*50% believe it could prevent them from making friends and forming relationships during their teens
*46% believe it could increase the chances of anti-social behaviour
*43% believe it could result in obesity
*36% believe it could lead to mental health problems and depression

Makes for quite scary reading doesn't it?

Many parents also felt that their children don't get enough time to play right now let alone in the years to come. They reported that if their children had not had playtime then their daily routines were affected, as 1 in 3 said that their kids would be "bouncing off the walls" with excess energy! Another 30% noted that a lack of play resulted in their children being irritable and difficult to put to bed and 27% said theirs argued much more.

I definitely see a difference in my son's behaviour if we have had a day when not much playing has taken part!! How about you!

The problem is due to the hectic lifestyles we lead nowadays, many parents do not feel they have the time they would like to have to play with their children. Indeed, work, feeling too tired and a busy schedule are blamed by parents as reasons why they are unable to make time to play. Not surprisingly when parents are able to play with their children, the top three activities are playing with games and toys, learning new skills or sports.


Cath Prisk from Play England says "Play affects long term development but is also the “here and now”; it is an innate human need which we need to protect for our children”.

I know from visiting blogs written by parents, that making time to play with our children is very important to us and we see it as a way to not only have fun but also to use as a method of teaching our children new skills - to learn through play. Also to play outside at the park or even in the garden allows children to just play in the fresh air which is just as beneficial to their well being and social skills.


However, help is needed in making time to play for many parents as 1 in 5 dads and almost 1 in 6 mums would like to improve their parenting skills when it came to knowing how to let their children play. With this being the case the BTHA and Play England have launched the campaign



to raise awareness of the importance of play in children’s lives. Also to demonstrate how a few simple steps each day can encourage time to play for children


The campaign is being backed by Celebrity Dad Jeff Brazier. You may have seen him over the last couple of weeks promoting the Make Time To Play concept on TV. As he says “Playtime for me and my kids is our time to spend together, and for me to be really focused on them - away from work and other distractions. It can be difficult when you're a busy parent with a career but I think it's really important for parents to set aside time to play with their kids, whether it’s a game of hide and seek or a kick about in the park – it’s great fun and a chance for them to be their most creative.”

Personally, I think this is a worthwhile campaign and worth promoting because play is such an important part of a child life and daily routine. Having read the statistics above, even more so then I realised before!

The campaign has a dedicated Facebook fan page at www.facebook.com/maketimetoplay
where any parent who needs it, can receive help and get ideas for productive play. Also, they can win their child’s ideal play date aswell,as gather ideas for activities to do as a family.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Listography - The Final Five

This week's

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is being hosted by Keith from Reluctant Housedad and his theme is the Finals which is inspired by, in his own words,

So, after much head-scratching and several pints of Doombar, the best I’ve come up with for this week’s Listography is: FINALS
Here’s the premise. A couple of weeks ago we were told the world was going to end. It didn’t (did it? have I missed something?) so The End has now been re-scheduled to December 21 2012.
That leaves us with 18 months to prepare our Final Farewells, Final Suppers, Final Words, Final Destinations, Final Resting Places, Final Shags and lots, lots more.
Hmmmm , certainly a theme which got the old brain ticking over!!

So here are mine, in no particular order

1. Final Destination
There are so many wonderful destinations around the world which i have yet to visit, and would love to if the end of the world was approaching. I guess I will choose a road trip across America as my final one as it would last a while (so would need the world ending to take at least 3 months lol). Would be great to hire a Winnebago to do the trip in so we can take a home from home with us.


2. Final Meal
Would have to be:
*prawn cocktail, yes retro but still tasty!
*My Mum's roast beef dinner because it is the best roast dinner on the planet - no, really it is!
*sticky toffee pudding with toffee ice cream


3. Final Party
Well if the world was ending, may aswell have a good send off. If money was no object aswell, I would like all my friends and family to attend and it would be great to hire a top notch caterer to provide the food, and a gorgeous 5 star country hotel so we can all live it up in style together. Thinking about it we could all max out our credit cards because we would never have to make the repayments!

4. Final Words
"I love you and thank you for making my life complete " directed to my boys (this has now made me teary thinking of this -thanks Keith!). I would tell my OH I loved him too, but the boys would have the final sentence I ever said.

5. Final moment
Holding my boys tightly, kissing them and smelling them (love that baby/toddler smell) and no doubt crying whilst having the OH cuddle me and them.

Ok now I am actually depressed and upset!! What a sad ending to this weeks listography! :(

Hopefully the world isn't going to end just yet!

ANYWAY, If this hasn't depressed you too much, or if it has and you want cheering up, pop over to Keith's blog and check out what Final 5 lists have been compiled by other people!

Silent Sunday



Silent Sunday

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Big Boy's Room


I was going to wait for Silent Sunday to post a photo of this.......but too excited so am going to post my photos on my blog today instead!!

So another milestone in Burton's life has been reached this weekend - he has moved out of his cot and into a big boys bed. Despite his over exuberance in other areas of the house with regards to chairs, stairs the sofa etc... he never actually tried to climb out of his cot which I was surprised (and relieved!) about. Still, at 22 months of age we felt it was time to make the transition from cot to bed.

Due to his love of all things Toy Story, we decided to not only move him into a bed but decorate his room in this theme too. While looking on line for ideas, the OH came across a Buzz Lightyear Spaceship bed - perfect for all budding space cadets!! With the bed sorted we found other Toy Story decor items and his new room was turned from a room with magnolia coloured walls and ceiling to this:








The ceiling is covered with glow in the dark stars and planets







For all you Toy Story fans you will see that we decorated the walls to look like Andy's bedroom in Toy Story 2, blue with clouds.








The border is also glow in the dark, and the toys are stickers but they look so real!














It really does look amazing - top marks to my OH for putting it all together.

As you can imagine, when Burton saw his room for the first time I don't think he could quite believe his eyes! He was excitedly pointing and flapping his arms, and he 'hugged' each Toy Story character and kissed them! He likes his bed and happily took a nap







It's so good in his room, he doesn't want to leave it now :)

Friday, 27 May 2011

Flashback Friday - Clothes Show Live 1994

This weeks photo was taken in December 1994, at the Clothes Show Live. It shows me and Susie trying on some fancy hats - like you do!



Living in Leicester at the time it wasn't too far to travel there, and I went with four of my university friends as Sophie, my housemate, had a car which got us there. The journey to Birmingham on the motorway was an unusual one to say the least!! We started getting attention from a group of lads in another car and they kept coming along side us and waving and shouting and stuff - typical ladish behaviour lol. Then at some point they wrote a message on a piece of paper asking us where we we going, so we replied after hunting for a pen and something to write on! I am not sure exactly how this next bit happened now, but somehow they asked for a contact phone number for us and we refused but said why didn't they give is a phone number instead. Well, they did! Then not long after we had to leave at the next junction to make our way to the NEC, and enjoyed a great day walking around the show.

Anyway, this flashback does not end there, oh no! A couple of weeks later we broke up for the Christmas holidays. I stayed in the house a week longer than my housemates as I acquired some work in a sandwich factory, to earn some money to buy presents with. One of the girls who I had been to the Clothes Show Live with was also around for that week and lived in the road behind ours.

Well one night we were bored so we decided to call the telephone number those lads had given us, just for a laugh. It was genuine and we spoke to one of them and he asked which of us from the car was he speaking to, so we told him and he was pleased because his mate fancied me apparently! Anyway, completely spur of the moment he and his mate wanted to come and take us out for the night and we agreed! Looking back, I guess maybe arranging to meet up with two blokes at night who we did not know was a bit stupid but Ann and I were like, you only live once kind of attitude!

So we met up and they took us to a club and bought us drinks and afterwards they came back to my house for more drinks. The one who fancied me had spent all night chatting me up saying that he wanted to see me again. How he earned a lot of money so think of all the places he could take me, a student, he had a flashy car etc.... Well, back at the house we snogged a bit and I think he would have like more, but I didn't really fancy him that much and he was shorter than me!! So I told him that I didn't want to see him again, and he wasn't very pleased - I don't think he got knocked back often! Luckily, he and his mate did leave much to mine and Ann's relief!!

For more Flashback Friday Fun check out the entries here:

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Jenson At 8 Weeks

So my baby boy is 8 weeks old already! I can't believe a whole 4 weeks have passed since I wrote my last Jenson update!



The time is going by far too quickly for my liking.

This last month has seen my sleep intake increase, averaging at 4 hours sometimes 5 and once even 6!! Although again my sleep is interrupted so it's usually 2 or 3 hours in one go and then 1 or 2 more if I am lucky. But thats fine because I don't feel as tired during the day which helps a lot. However, the last two nights he has slept for five hours straight through, which is brilliant! Long may it last, although I won't get too excited just yet.

Jenson is a little smiler :)






and enjoys a little 'chat' with whoever will speak to him, making lots of gurgles and coos.


He likes to see what is going on and he especially enjoys watching his big brother play around him. Burton still loves to rub his head, put blankets on him and kiss him etc... It's very sweet although he still doesn't understand 'careful' or 'be gentle' or "sssh Jenson is asleep"!!


As with his older brother, we have been bathing Jenson regularly since he was a couple of weeks old and he loves taking a bath now. He kicks is legs and splashes with his arms and smiles when he is in the water. I think we have another water baby which is fantastic - he will be swimming before you know it!








He is still feeding well and still in demand. I just wish my milk wouldn't make him choke as much - he struggles to catch his breath and then cries :( its horrible when it happens, which is at least once a day!

He was weighed and measured last week and was 13lbs and 61cm long which is great news. I have had to buy some 3-6 month baby grows and vests now, and return the 0-3 month ones I had, as he has outgrown them before he has worn them! I think I am going to have another big boy on my hands - Jenson is already 3cm longer than Burton was at the same age and we all thought he was big for his age.

It is hard juggling my time between my boys and at times I feel I struggle, but I know all this hard work will payoff when the two of them grow up close in age and hopefully close as brothers.


Tuesday, 24 May 2011

The Gallery - Jen & The Weedstalk

This week's Tara has given us BACK YARD as our Gallery theme.

My backyard is hideous - it is not something to be proud of. It is very small, does not get very much sun and is covered with uneven patio slabs and weeds. There is a battered, tatty and faded blue back gate and a shed which homes our washing machine and tumble dryer. Compared to the inside of our house, which was renovated a couple of years ago, the outside area is such a let down! It needs an over haul but hasn't been done yet.

I really wish we had a little garden, somewhere for Burton to play but alas we do not. One day soon we will move to a place with a garden which will be lovely, although not being green fingered I wouldn't want a massive garden!

Anyway, I digressed. So I am too ashamed off my backyard to take a photo of it to show what it actually looks like. Therefore, instead I am going to share with you this plant - well weed really - which must have shot up in the last few days because I hadn't noticed it at the weekend! It is huuuge and has such a thick stalk!

So here is my aptly named 'weedstalk' which our backyard has nurtured!! Taken from its front and back.






I wonder how tall it would get if I left it alone? Would I find a giant and a golden goose/egg at the top??!

For other, no doubt nicer, backyard photos check out The Gallery

Outdoor Play For Free :)

Like most children, Burton loves nothing more than playing outside. It is unfortunate that we do not have a little back garden that he could play in here at home, because it would help occupy him while my time is taken up feeding Jenson.

However, we are fortunate in that both sets of grandparents have lovely gardens which he can run around in, and burn off some of his toddler never ending energy in! He loves getting stuck in and trying out everything available to him from tyre swinging, to trampolining, to using the swings and slides. As long as he is outside he is happy.















We are also very lucky to live near a really lovely big park. It only takes 5 - 10 minutes to walk there and Burton loves the slide and swings especially





as well as running around and falling over and kicking a ball about.












It amazes how each time we visit the playground he is able to do more himself, and is not requiring as much assistance from me to get to the top of the slide now. Last night after tea we visited the park and despite the fact that due to a lot of rain we had yesterday the slide was wet, this did not deter my son from going down it and getting awkwardly placed wet patches on his trousers!














Living close to the rugged north Devon coast also means that we can play at the beach, and rock pooling is a fun activity which Burton enjoys, seeing what little sea creatures we can find. It's something we do with his grandma as she grew up playing at one of the local beaches.






Plus of course there is always paddling and splashing in the sea! Burton loves water so any excuse to get wet!







Aswell as being lots of fun, playing outside is good for all of us and best of all not one of these activities cost any money. These are activities which I hope will continue for many, many years to come. They are what make a childhood - some of my fondest childhood memories are playing outside with my brother and family. Using our imaginations and getting lots of fresh air! Simple pleasures are always the best in my opinion.

Oh and all that fresh air usually guarantees a tired boy!!


Monday, 23 May 2011

Bad Mummy

Sometimes I find it all a bit too much. There are times when I worry that I cannot cope. It is then that I feel I lose my patience. I raise my voice - only for a brief moment. I lose control. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does I feel weak and mean. Then I hate myself and feel I am a bad Mummy.

Everyone thinks I am doing a wonderful job. My family tell me, my OH's Mum tells me and the Health Visitor and the doctor I saw today said what a grand job I am doing and how well I must be coping.

But am I? Am I really?

I doubt my abilities to be a good Mummy. I want to be. More than anything else I do, so badly, I really do. Remembering back to my own childhood, I have so many memories of being shouted at by my own Mum, and I know how that made me feel back then. I promised myself that I would NEVER make my children feel like that. However, when I have an outburst like I did earlier, I worry that I am breaking my promise and that maybe I will end up being like my mum was back then.

The worst thing is Burton doesn't mean to wind me up and 95% of the time I handle it fine but today......today I snapped.

We got in from a walk and Jenson hadn't slept as I had hoped so he was crying. Burton was fine until we got indoors. I was trying to get his shoes and coat off and make him his tea before poor Jenson could be fed, but he wouldn't leave the hallway. I guess I couldn't understand what it was he was trying to tell me, and everything I tried to say to him made him upset! So I left him to get his tea and this made it even worse - he was screaming and throwing himself onto the floor. Poor Jenson was crying even louder which was stressing me out a little. Then Burton was screaming even louder. I tried reasoning with him but to no avail. Suddenly, from out of my mouth I shouted - on the verge of screaming myself - at him to shut up! I shouted that sometimes mummy wanted to scream loudly too but she isn't allowed.

His face - he looked at me, he paused and then he carried on crying even louder :(

As soon as the words left my mouth I felt so awful. So I took a deep breath and wiped away his tears told him, in my normal Mummy voice and tone, to come and sit in his chair and eat his tea and I would put 'Raa Raa' (The Noisy Little Lion) on the iPad for him. He did so straight away and within a couple of minutes was calling my name and pointing to the screen excitedly showing me the characters.

He had forgotten about it all already, luckily.

I didn't though. I sat feeding Jenson, crying as quietly as I could, hating myself for what I had just done. He didn't deserve to be spoken to like that. He is 22 months old, he is experiencing the 'terrible 2's he doesn't known what he wants most of the time. I am the adult, his Mummy the one person who should make him feel safe. I feel I let him down. I really must try not to raise my voice when his screaming stresses me out, afterall he doesn't know why he is most of the time. Also I must learn not to let it wind me up. Its just a build up of 'trying' moments - eg. every time I manage to get Jenson to sleep during the day, Burton wakes him up through noisy play or by touching the Moses basket or rubbing his brother's head! Again, he doesn't mean to do so. Being loud is one of the things I love about him - its part of who he is. It just feels like I spend all day trying to get Jenson to sleep! Therefore, sometimes when Burton displays one of his crying without reason moments, I find it hard to keep calm and rational.

Not only did I feel awful for Burton at that moment, but for Jenson too because he is left crying sometimes while I have to see to his older brother. I would never have let Burton cry as long as poor Jenson has to sometimes.

However, a nice thing did happen after tea. The OH looked after Jenson for half an hour so I could take Burton to the park - some Mummy and Burton one on one time. Something we have not had since Jenson was born. Something we have not been able to do for a while really,as during my last couple of months of pregnancy I wasn't able to do anything too energetic with him. Going to the park then was just too much as it meant lifting him or waddling around after him!

It was lovely. There were smiles and laughter, and kisses and cuddles. No tears or tantrums. No tellings off had to be issued. I felt like a good mummy again and for the first time in a long time, I had no feelings of guilt because I was giving Burton my undivided attention and wasn't having to juggle my time between my children.

It felt wonderful.



Except now, reading that last bit back, I feel bad to Jenson as it makes me sound like I was glad he wasn't there!

It's not easy being a Mum is it?

Sunday, 22 May 2011

Silent Sunday





Silent Sunday
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