Chapter 1 : Stand Up Weeing
So, recently I have had a situation with Burton that I have had no prior experience of dealing with before, and I found myself totally unprepared for it too!
Him being caught short while out and about!!
Now the first time this happened I had taken him and Jenson to feed some ducks, and I had actually taken a my carry potty with me in case this happened. However, I don't know if this applies to anyone else who uses/has used this particular type of portable potty, but I find it a right pain in the behind to open!
So there we were out in almost the middle of nowhere when Burton exclaimed that "me need a wee mummy" . Right, thought I, that's ok as I have the potty with me. Except try as I might I could not open the blasted thing and I was aware that Burton had started to perform his wee dance, maybe you know the one as your child might have his or her's own version of it. Burton's is where he kind of jigs on the spot! I know at his point that I am relatively safe still as he is not yet grabbing his willy, when this happens I know that time really is of the essence!
Anyway, I couldn't open the my carry potty, and there was no way that we would be able to walk back to the car, get both the boys strapped back in, put the pushchair back in the boot and then drive off to find a toilet. Therefore, there was only one thing for it, Burton was going to have to wee outside. Now the easy thing to do would be to get him to stand up but he has never attempted this before so I didn't bother trying to get him to do this now. Instead I thought I would get him to squat down as I would do this if it were me that needed to spend a penny. But Burton didn't quite understand what I was trying to get him to do and there was no way there would be enough willy clearance, and therefore, his pants and trousers would get wet. So in the end, I picked him up and hovered him over a fence which had the pond behind and beneath him, as I hoped that by doing this it would be like using a potty. It worked ok, although Mummy did get a little spray action on her boots! But at least he was able to go and we laughed about it afterwards and he thought it was funny that he had taken a wee outside.
Then a couple of weeks ago, whilst visiting my mum, we went for a walk and while Mum took her dog round the field, the boys and I went to a park. We were having a great time and then suddenly Burton announced that "me need a wee mummy". Oh bu**er I thought, we were about a 10 minute walk away from Mum's house and I didn't have a key to get in anyway and I had no idea if there was a public toilet nearby. So there was only one solution: a wee outside in the park. There was no one else around and it was all grass, so I took him behind one of the wooden walls and pulled his pants and trousers down, which he was trying to remove and I was telling him there was no need to! I was also holding Jenson so this was no easy task I can tell you! This time I thought I would get him to stand upright because there was no where for me to hover him over and as I was carrying his brother, I had no option but to make him stand and pee.
Now I am a female and I cannot stand up and wee, I have to sit down or squat so I don't really have any experience of urinating like a boy/man. So I don't really know how to explain to my 2 1/2 year old how he should 'perform' whilst in an upright position. I was telling him to stick his tummy out and sort of push his bottom in but all he kept trying to do was air down! It seemed do be taking ages and I could see he was on the verge of just going. In the end as a last resort, I told him to lean his arms on to the wooden wall in front of him and I held his trousers and pants back and he did a wee!! Yay! Success!!
The thing is though, surely it should be his Daddy teaching him this I mean he has had experience, he uses this method everyday! Yet I ended up having to teach our son - me!!!!
Well sort of anyway!
I never expected to be teaching my child that when I became a Mummy!